Cai nghiện điện thoại: liệu ta có thật sự 'tắt máy' được?

Ben, quick confession. Last night I picked up my phone to check the weather.

And let me guess, forty minutes later you were still on it.

Fifty. And I never actually checked the weather.

Ha, classic. That's practically a national sport at this point.

Welcome to Deep Dive English, the show where we take one idea and really dig into it. I'm Mia.

And I'm Ben. Today's idea is one we all live with. Can we actually switch off from our phones?

Or, to put it another way, is a digital detox realistic, or just a nice fantasy?

Let's start with the term itself. A digital detox is a period when you deliberately stay away from screens.

Like a detox for your body, but for your attention instead.

And what you did last night has a name too.

Doomscrolling. Endlessly scrolling through bad news, or really anything, long after it stopped being useful.

The doom part originally came from news that makes you anxious. But people use it much more loosely now.

Honestly, half my doomscrolling is cooking videos. Not exactly the end of the world.

Ha! Doomscrolling with a side of pasta.

Okay, here's my position, and I'll be blunt. I don't think the phone is the villain here. It's the apps.

Go on.

A lot of these apps keep you hooked by design. Infinite feeds, autoplay, notifications at exactly the right moment.

By design, meaning it's not an accident. Someone chose to build it that way.

Exactly. So when people say, just use your willpower, I think that's a bit unfair.

I'd push back on that a little, though.

Of course you would.

By the way, push back is a great phrase for meetings. It means to disagree, politely but firmly.

Much nicer than saying, you're wrong.

Much nicer. Okay, go ahead. Push back.

Blaming the apps lets us off the hook. At some point, I'm the one who chooses to open them.

Lets us off the hook, nice. That means it frees us from responsibility.

Right. And I worry that if we only blame tech companies, we'll never change our own habits.

Fair. Maybe the honest answer is that it's both. The design pulls us in, and we don't resist very hard.

I can live with that.

So what do people actually do about it? The most extreme option is to go cold turkey.

To go cold turkey means stopping something completely and suddenly, with no gradual reduction.

It originally described quitting drugs or cigarettes, but now we use it for anything. Coffee, sugar, social media.

I tried going cold turkey on social media once. Deleted everything on a Monday.

And?

By Thursday I'd reinstalled two apps, just to check messages.

Ha! Just to check messages. So I guess you didn't really go cold turkey.

Not even close. And I think that's pretty common. Quitting completely sounds heroic, but modern life doesn't really allow it.

Especially for work. Half my job happens in messaging apps.

Same. So for most of us, the realistic goal is to rein in our use, not to eliminate it.

Rein in. That comes from horse riding, right? You pull the reins to slow the horse down.

Exactly. To rein in something is to bring it under control before it gets out of hand.

Governments rein in spending, parents rein in screen time, and the rest of us try to rein in our scrolling.

Okay, so how do we rein it in? What's actually worked for you?

Honestly, the boring stuff. I turned off almost every notification.

Every single one?

Everything except calls and messages from actual humans. No likes, no news alerts, no reminders that I haven't posted in a while.

Oh, that last one is so passive-aggressive.

It really is. My other trick is to carve out phone-free time.

Carve out is a lovely phrase. Like carving wood, you cut out a space for something that matters.

Right. I carve out the first hour of the morning. No phone until I've had breakfast.

I've tried to carve out time at dinner. Our phones go in a kitchen drawer.

And does it stick?

Most nights. The drawer really helps. If the phone is in my pocket, I'm lost.

That's the thing, isn't it? It's not really about willpower. It's about distance.

Now, let me play devil's advocate for a moment.

You love doing that.

I do. Isn't the whole idea of a digital detox a bit of a luxury?

How do you mean?

Well, for a lot of people, the phone is their bank, their map, their job, and their link to family abroad.

Hmm. That's a really good point. Telling a delivery driver to switch off isn't very helpful.

Or a student whose parents live in another country. The phone is how they stay close.

So technology really is a double-edged sword. It connects us, and it drains us.

A double-edged sword. Something that brings real benefits and real costs at the same time.

And which edge you feel depends a lot on your situation.

Which is why I'm skeptical of anyone selling a one-size-fits-all detox plan.

Agreed. I'd rather people asked a simpler question. What do I want my phone to do for me?

And, just as important, what do I not want it to do?

Exactly. Then you design your own rules around the answers.

Of course, there's also the fear of missing out.

Right. The fear of missing out is that nagging worry that everyone else is having fun without you.

And the funny thing is, when you actually disconnect for a weekend, you rarely miss anything that matters.

Except maybe a meme or two.

Which will still be there on Monday, sadly.

So, is the research clear on any of this? Do detoxes actually make us happier?

Honestly, the jury is still out.

The jury is still out, meaning people haven't reached a final decision yet.

Some studies suggest small benefits for mood and sleep, while others find very little. A lot depends on how you measure it.

So I'd be careful with any headline that promises a detox will change your life.

Agreed. And while the jury is still out, I'd say trust your own experience.

Try one small change for a week, and notice how you feel.

Okay, let's pull this together. Quick recap.

Doomscrolling is that endless, joyless scrolling we all know far too well.

If you go cold turkey, you quit all at once. For most of us, it doesn't last.

A more realistic aim is to rein in your use. Turn off notifications and keep the phone out of reach.

And try to carve out phone-free time, even if it's just one meal a day.

Remember, technology is a double-edged sword, so your rules should fit your life, not someone else's.

And on the big question, whether a detox really works, the jury is still out.

So here's something to think about. If your phone disappeared for a week, what would you miss first?

And what would you be secretly glad to lose?

The transcript and vocabulary are on our website, if you want to go back over anything.

Thanks for diving deep with us. I'm Ben.

And I'm Mia. Now go and put your phone down. Right after this episode, of course.

Ha! Bye, everyone.